trmanco's tumblr

This had to be written at some point…

You asked me what I saw in you when we finally met in person. Well, on that day, I was awfully nervous but at the same time I had the need to see you and to feel you, and I did it.

Now you might be asking yourself why, right?? I say, it’s the power of love, and let me tell you something, You were and still are my first and only of what I would consider real love. I would do anything for you, there were no limits. All that I needed was pure imagination and creativity to do something, even crazy things… and I would simply do it!

You were no ordinary girl, you were and still are the girl that I love, even though it is now impossible, it was once possible, it was just a matter of time until we could finally cherish each other in a matter of different ways.

I love your way to be, I love your way to act, I love the way you think. What else can I say… I love everything about you! You told me that you weren’t ready, I understood and respected that and I would have waited until you were prepared to have a new relationship but you threw it all away…

Don’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything for me or that all you felt was just friendship and affection, because that is a lie! I saw that warm glare in your eyes every time I looked at them, your face… it was different, you were happy, it’s as if you forgot all those problems that you have… and words, they are a very powerful weapon, and don’t tell me that all those things you said and all those things you wrote about us were just plain ordinary words, because they weren’t.

Now you are different, you have changed in a way that sometimes I don’t even know you anymore. I try to bring you back like you were before, but I fail every time I attempt to do it… you keep saying that nothing changed! There are times that I feel you are coming back, but it’s just temporary and it goes away after a couple of days or maybe in just a couple of hours.

Then, sometimes I start to cry… it’s as if something is missing in me… and you want to know what it is? It’s You, they real You, not the person you are now.

I really miss the way that you were before, it made me feel special, it made me feel different, it’s as if I was a complete new boy with a completely different mindset, not only towards you, but to everybody else around me.

Sometimes we have to grab Life by it’s throat and make it give us what we want it to give. That was what I was doing before you said that we had to stop. I know it hadn’t given me everything I wanted, but as I said before, it was just a matter of time before Life gave me the rest.

I hope one day you realize of what you just let go, all I wanted was for you to be mine so that I could make you feel the most special and happy girl in the whole world and I would, if you just gave me a chance to do so… but you preferred not to. This has yet to be explained…

There is a reason why we are not together and the only person that can fix my heart is you! Was it something that I said? Was it something that I did? Was it something that others told you about me? Lies, maybe? Was it because of my enemies? Only you can tell me what went wrong…

It hurts not to talk as we did before, it hurts not having that good morning message to wake me up with a smile and it hurts to know that you don’t want me anymore… The list can keep going but some things cannot be written and I don’t want to waste anymore of your time…